1. When moving through Grief, is it necessary to revisit a geographic location that is connected to the grief?  It's really more helpful to visit the person you are inside.  Do you really want to reconnect to the person who got sick or became addicted?  Would it be more helpful to think in terms of transformation?

        2. Grief and Trauma - think of a cell membrane; it must allow flow inside to the nucleus and back out.  If is is too tough, nothing flows through.  If it is too thin, it cannot take shape and hold the cell together.  That's the way it is with compassion.  Allow compassion to exist, so that you don't harden your heart to suffering and pain; but neither allow yourself to take on the trauma of others.

      3.  When dealing with yourself do so compassionately not critically.  Only then can movement and growth take place.